Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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