How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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