I puked a lego.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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