You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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