Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize