Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
how does that bad decision feel?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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