i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
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for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
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I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
So vagazzling was a success
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