I'm so fucking centered right now
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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