420 ftw
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
ttyl tear gas
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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