Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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