I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
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Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
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Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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