I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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