Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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