Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize