Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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