How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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