I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
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i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
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You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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