i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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