seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize