so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
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HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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