I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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