but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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