what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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