Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize