I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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