Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize