the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize