he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
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You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
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You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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