dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
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The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
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I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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