This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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