I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
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i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
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Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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