Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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