so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
We are all done wearing pants today
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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