Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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