The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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