you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Couch. On fire.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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