How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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