so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize