i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
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