Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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