So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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