just come out here and I will go home with you...
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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