still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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