My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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