return my video game
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize