so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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