Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
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We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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