I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i was born a porn star she said
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
My breasts were aching with rage.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize