she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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