my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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